Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
