Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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