There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
