You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
