and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
