Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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