so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
