I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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