Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
