You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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