I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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