I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
