Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
