So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
