everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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