I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
