So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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