And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
