chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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