Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
