For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
