what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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