I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
