can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
