Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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