We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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