I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
