so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
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