Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
