why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
