Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
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