This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
