Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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