if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
