I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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