So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
