no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
