the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
