I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
