She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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