Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
