You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
