So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize