His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
