my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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