Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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