chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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