What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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