dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
