Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
