I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
